ammon.azza.org

Well, today, the weather was beyond crappy so I stayed home all day. This is a relatively new phenomenon. I had a hard time figuring out what to do with myself and found myself flipping through the channels for the first time in... a long time. I watched 'Seinfeld', 'Friends', and the beginning of 'Jersey Girl'. Earlier today I took a walk in the snow storm with my camera filming myself banter about... who even knows. It was my desperate attempt to be creative in this crazy mixed up world.

The past few hours have actually been productive, though less entertaining than the rest of this entertainmentless day. Spell checker doesn't like the word "entertainmentless", but I do, so I'm keeping it.

Anywho, I did some photoshopping for my dad. We had a family picture that was taken this summer, and a month or so ago, I scanned it and cleaned it up. Well, today I simplified it into black and white lines with blank ovals over the faces. The ovals were then numbered to be sent off to my grandmother to be identified. Here is the finished product without the numbers:



There are 91 people (white ovals) in this picture. I realized that I would only be able to identify (by name) a handful of them, outside my direct family. Some people I might be able to say "So and so's daughter", or "His wife", but names would be a problem. So, in fact, this is how I look at my extended family. Blank faces that talk to each other while I eat some food and avoid them.

I suppose in all reality it's not that bad. I really don't AVOID them. It's just funnier that way.

So I was discussing pancakes and waffles with Jason today (we REALLY have nothing useful to do). He was saying that he hadn't had waffles in a long time, and mentioned that he liked them much better than pancakes. I then brought up the many pitfalls of waffles.

They make me have OCD! Let's go through the process of making a waffle (frozen). 1- get them out of the freezer. 2- Put them in the Toaster. 3- at proper time, remove them from toaster. Simple enough so far, and if so inclined you could eat them now. The remaining steps are a problem.

4- Butter the waffles. You take the butter knife, cut a pat off the stick, and try in vain to spread it. No matter what amount of finesse you use, only the first three squares (at most) will have butter in them. The first two are filled with it. This reminds me of trying to patch holes in the wall with putty, the only difference is that I DON'T want the squares filled with butter. You try desperately to pick the butter out with the tip of the knife, and move it elsewhere, but frustration will set in and you will end up with globs of butter randomly placed on your waffle. You consider using more force, but that will simply ruin your waffle, and not much will be gained from it.

5- Place syrup on the waffle. This wouldn't normally be difficult. On a pancake you center the bottle and squeeze. On a waffle, however, you must fill each and every square with syrup. This takes precious time and is basically a glorified waste of syrup. Not to mention, then you get to eat the waffles which usually ends up being a sticky mess anyway. I suppose that's the same with pancakes though.

Last night I again had a hard time falling asleep, despite the fact that I was tired. After reading a chapter of 'The Hobbit' and lying in bed for a few hours, I started getting really irritated. I was hungry too, which was weird because I ate a bowl of Rice Crispies right before I got into bed. Was that really 3 hours ago? So I remembered I had a bag of mixed nuts and M&Ms in my backpack from a previous hike. So I got out of bed and ate a smokehouse almond. Joy began to fill me as I devoured the sugary-salty goodness contained in the bag. I got back in bed comfortable and content.

So, for some reason I had high hopes for today. But alas, high hopes are made to be crushed. I got woken up by my mom saying she needed me to go to Home Depot with her. Not a bad thing, after all the Y chromosome in me lures me to that place. Then she mentioned a fabric store... *sigh*. But we were going to meet Cloey and Isaac there, so at least I'd have another guy to hang out with. As it turns out, Jarom came too, so it wasn't too bad at all.

At home depot I had fun enough. We ended up buying two lights and a new faucet for my bathroom. Back at home I wired in the two lights, easy enough. It probably took an hour for the both of them. Jarom showed up and helped with the second one. Then there was the faucet. I could have gotten away with not doing it yet. In all reality I didn't want to replace a faucet at all. It just didn't appeal to me in the least. But I figured I should get it over with.

3 hours later I was more irate than I can remember ever being. What do I hate about installing faucets? Well, everything. Making a mess. Getting covered in... I really don't want to know what that stuff was. Working in tight places, my tools being blocked from where they need to be. Crap falling in my eyes. Pipe tape is the evil of all evils. At one point I was wondering what the breeze on my forehead was. I wasn't too pleased when I realized it was sewer gases coming out of the disconnected pipe. I really don't want to rant any more.. I'd like to forget the ordeal completely. But here is the outcome:

The faucet is installed completely
The drain plug functions (after much tribulation), BUT the fake chrome ring around the drain popped off, preventing a seal. This means the sink won't hold water and I have to put in a new drain... meaning I have to take off the p-trap again, get crap everywhere again, smell the lovely sewer gases again, and have one heck of a time assembling the drain plug mechanism.. AGAIN! I could scream.

And my arms and hands itch like crazy from the fiberglass insulation in the light fixtures. Grr... I need the almond joy of last night back...

I'm sitting in Sacrament meeting today and someone gets up to announce the FHE activity. The ward is going ice skating. The girl that was announcing said it was the perfect opportunity we've all been waiting for to meet someone. She was going on about "accidentally knocking that someone down, helping them up and not letting go", that kind of thing you only hear advertised over the pulpit in a singles ward. You know she's going to be knocked down at least 10 times because she said that, and she'll probably enjoy it.

Then in Sunday School we got bombarded with fliers for institute. One of which had a quote from President Hinckley:

"I am grateful for the institute program of the church. I want to urge every ... student to take advantage of the institute program. It is the best place in the world to find your eternal mate, and you will be grateful all of your lives if you do"

Wow. Hard to argue with that.

So it seems the heat is on. But in all reality, nothing is going to happen. Why? Because I am simply not outgoing. I'm not really a shut in, I just don't talk to people I don't know. Were I to go to institute, which is likely, I would go to class. I would talk a few times in class. I might grab a cookie if they are available. I miss how in high school you would meet people by default. You get stuck in a room with them for an hour a day and by the end of the year you know them all. I haven't met new people like that in years. Instead I have to be outgoing. Bummer.

But on the other hand, I wouldn't know what I'm doing. I could be myself, but that would be really boring and I don't like it when people yawn at me. In that case I would need to be someone else. I could be the mean sarcastic type ("I love you like a dog loves a good fire hydrant"), the emo type ("I was really sad last night thinking about you... I burned you a dashboard CD"), the super-dramatic type ("How can I go on without you? I can hardly breath at the thought of you!"), the overly creative with too much time on your hands type ("I made you a jiggy treat. It's us made out of Jello!), or just plain old pot head ("Whatev").

Or I could admit that the real me isn't boring and just start being outgoing. So much effort...

It's been a good while since I did a rant, so here goes. I've noticed that a lot of things have names that are, well, dumb. Either they don't make sense, they are weird, or they are just plain... dumb.

There is a small, relatively unknown feature in the Wasatch mountains called the 'Obelisk' by locals. What is an obelisk anyway? Wikipedia.org says:

An obelisk (Greek obeliskos, diminutive of obelos, "needle") is a tall, thin, four-sided, tapering monument which ends in a pyramidal top.

This sounds really cool doesn't it? Well it would be if the obelisk actually resembled an obelisk. Really it is a small bump on the north ridge of the Pfeifferhorn. A small, relatively rounded bump; not a tall, thin, four-sided, tapering monument which ends in a pyramidal top. Hence this makes absolutely no sense. Sure there are other peaks that have names that don't make sense (Sugarloaf?), but this is a blatant like.

Another example: On the show "Inspector Gadget", his niece, Penny, has a dog. His name is Brain. I feel weird capitalizing the word 'brain', but in this case it is a proper noun. That's just not right. Sure, the dog is really smart, I'll give you that. But who holds their new puppy up, looks into his eyes and says "I'm going to call you Brain". That's right. No one.

What is worse, is when parents name their children poorly. The best example I can think of is a couple and their illegitimate child. I don't know how to spell it but her name is pronounced "you sin yuh". I'm not joking. An illegitimate child named Yousinyuh. Sad. Truly sad.